Love Potion Number 9
by soda-cola-pop
Summary: AU With Valentine's Day fast approaching, a woman takes drastic measures to find the one true love... or maybe she doesn't have to... DISCLAIMER: inspired by Sandra Bullock's movie, the title Love Potion Number 9 does not belong to me


**Love Potion #9**

Although the title is inspired by _the movie, the plot has no (or little) connection to the Sandra Bullock plot. :) My first take on lighthearted humor/romance… _

_To zelda6…_

**Disclaimer:** Sony and SquareSoft's characters were used for non-profitable entertainment purpose. No infringement intended.

**Love Potion #9**

Never in her whole life had Tifa Lockheart ever resorted to anything as pathetic as this certain method. Rather, she could not recall any particular event where she did something as desperate as this one… But looking at things now, she _needed this. After all, Valentine's Day was just around the corner…_

And she wasn't looking forward to spending that day alone, much worse, with any of the blind dates her friends would set her up with…

A miserable sigh escaped her full lips, and yet again, her mind recounted the incident – the precise moment – when Yuffie had managed to convince her to go along with _this_. She glanced down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper, her eyes lighting up with the earliest hint of a smile.

_Ah, Yuffie_…

It was amusing to find her dear friend kneeling before an altar dedicated to the tall, dark and mysterious heartthrob, Vincent Valentine himself. And Tifa herself would have laughed at the silliness of the sight had not the foul smelling incense choked her, effectively silencing her. Her coughs had alerted Yuffie of her presence – and the young ninja wannabe* was quick to jump up and give a reasonable explanation as to why she had been caught doing what she had been doing…

The slip of paper in her hand held her friend's answer, since Yuffie had been eager to keep her out of her dorm room*. What Tifa got from the motormouth* Yuffie were a few bits and pieces concerning a love spell of some sort. Strangely, it did pique Tifa's curiosity.

_"Guaranteed to work!__ You've got to try it! I mean, I am!"_

Okay, who was she fooling? Yuffie did nothing to talk her into this; the younger girl merely gave her the directions before pushing her out of the door, to probably continue her incantation. Or whatever. _Poor Vincent_, Tifa thought with a shudder.

She unfolded the instructions, reading it slowly as to absorb every word.

_Unconditional Love_

_On every Full Moon light a white (blessing) a pink (happiness) and black candle in gratitude to the Fates. _

_Details: _

_View the Moon before you light them, then say:  
  
_

_The kind Fates have blessed my home,  
The kind Fates have blessed my heart,  
The kind Fates have blessed my loved ones,  
I offer thanks with a humble heart.  
I thank the Goddess for my life,  
I thank the Goddess for my love.  
I thank the Goddess for continued blessings already on their way.  
Blessed be.  
  
_

_Also burn some high-quality incense, the best you have. Do this each month to make your good fortune last.*_

"Quality incense, huh?" She laughed softly. Yuffie probably wasn't able to read that last part right.

"Heck… Here goes nothing." If this works, if it doesn't… She had nothing to lose anyway, either way. It's worth a try.

And after a few moments of searching her dorm room's cabinets and corners, Tifa was able to come up with just a box of matchsticks, a few pieces of incense and three white candlesticks, two of which were already used halfway. Good enough, maybe… But she needed _white, pink and__ black candles._

_Black candles?_ Tifa could simply wonder in distaste why anyone would want black candles. As she made her way to the balcony*, she caught her reflection upon passing by a mirror. She had on a white tank top, a pale pink cardigan, and black pants*…

So what if she had the wrong candles? She still _had the colors white, pink and black! Right…?_

Despite an uneasy feeling settling at the pit of her stomach, she prepared everything and watched the sun dip lower and lower into the fiery horizon… And even if she had spent merely a few seconds outside, Tifa did not want to wait another hour for the sun to set.

O~kay… She _is_ excited. A bit… Of course she _wanted_ to _see_ if this would work!

She wasted no time mounting the candles, finding stands for the incense and lighting them. Only to have the afternoon breeze extinguish their flames. Rolling her eyes, she lighted them _again_, though this time, she used both hands to protect their fire from any kind of wind.

Unconditional love, huh? It's not like she actually _found the perfect guy… But...it __is a comforting thought, to find him, to be sure of this _love_. To have someone, to _be with_ that special someone… And to marry and have kids, to grow old together…_

Tifa smiled wistfully, her champagne eyes lighting up once again.

"I wish I'd find that someone…"

No sooner had the words escaped her lips did she hear footsteps behind her. "Knock-knock."

She subdued a groan that was already forming at the back of her throat, waiting to be let out. She didn't have to turn around to see who had come. She already knew who it was. "Hello, Zack. Nice of you to welcome yourself in. As always."

"Why, good evening to you too, Tifa." She could practically hear him smiling through his words. His smile was infectious, even if she had yet face him though it slipped from her face upon hearing him sniff the air around her. "Hey, something smells funky."

"You must be smelling yourself." She turned around and pushed him back inside. She wouldn't want him to catch this _antic of hers, only to have him tease her about it for months. "C'mon Zack, let's go in. I have left over pizza for you."_

"My, aren't you eager to feed me…?" He raised an eyebrow, and attempted to look over her shoulder. She blocked his line of vision with her head. "Heh. I knew it." Zack gave her an impish smile, looking at her through half-lidded eyes. "You. Are. Hiding. Something."

And before she could blink, he had used his athletic advantage and taken her in his strong arms, keeping her from hiding _whatever. "A-ha…" Tifa watched his olive eyes widen in surprise before reverting back to look at her. "Tifa, what a surprise… I didn't know you're into voodoo-"_

"Excuse me?!" She stared at him, dumbfounded. "Voodoo?"

"Erm, yeah, voodoo… I mean, the candle, the incense," he gestured to the liquefying candle wax. "And this melted doll figure-"

"Melted doll?" She sighed exasperatedly, but was unable to hide her smile. "Zack. That's a candle. And I don't do voodoo, this is just some good luck tactic Yuffie has told me about, y'know, attracting positive chi and all that stuff?" Well, at least it was partly true…

"Okay, okay. I believe you!" he held up his hands in mock surrender, and only then did he let her go, Tifa realized. She watched him for a moment, unsure of what to do… "But you know, it would take a long time to get that wax off your balcony floor."

She looked down at the mess she herself had created and grimaced. "Ack…"

"Chill, Tifa. It's not like I won't help you or something, right?" He grinned at her. and for some reason, she felt warm all over. "Hey, look."

"Huh?" she frowned, confused. And she felt him move to stand behind her.

"There, see?" with one hand on her chin, he tilted her face up so she could see the sky. "The moon's already out…"

She leaned back, until her back rested on his chest and her head on his shoulder. "It's a full moon."

"And the sun has barely set." He was smiling again, she could hear it in his voice. "They say that's a good premonition."

Tifa simply watched the sun and the moon. Those two barely set foot on the sky together… But on this fateful evening, they did. She smiled.

"Blessed be*."

**Rachel's twisted "dictionary"**

_wannabe_ – this is AU… I just find it weird to have a ninja walking around a modern day New York or Manila. :P so in this fic, Yuffie is a wannabe ninja. *avoids various projectiles hurled by Yuffie fans*

_dorm__ room – I sorta imagined the FFVII cast studying (in college, Midgar Academy maybe) and then they all stay at the dorm or something. ^_^_

_motormouth – I have no idea if this term really exists (but I swear I _did_ hear if before *scratches head*), if ever it doesn't exist (or if it __does exist but I've gotten the wrong meaning) _for me_, someone with a motormouth is can say about a hundred words per minute *laughs* ok, that's exaggerating … something close to that. :)_

_Unconditional Love… – _I got this one from the internet, at the Yahoo search engine where I typed "Love Tests" (I wanted to try out my friend's "chance" with another friend, you know, the type of games where you are asked to write the people's names and birthdates, and then they'll be "graded"?) and this is the first link I clicked on… :) so, yes, I did keep it *laughs*

_balcony_ – erm, yeah, I used to think that dorm rooms had balconies… :) haha…

_white tank top, pale pink cardigan and black pants_ – if ever anyone thinks what Tifa's wearing is, erm, weird or 'bland' or whatever, blame it on the author's nonexistent fashion taste *winces*

_Blessed be_ – this is the last part of the incantation in "Unconditional Love." As most of you noticed, Tifa didn't really do the whole procedure (she didn't have to, really) she merely lighted the candles and the incense… :)

**Author's Notes:**

Ok… that was a bit weird. I bet most of you are still in shock… So, yeah, maybe this would be the first _and last_ piece of humor you'd be getting from me… _Maybe. :P_

^_^ After almost two months of a no-show, I'm back again. Although I haven't posted anything else, let me assure you that I am polishing things and working things out. :) I'm on a writing frenzy now (thank goodness and _puera_ usog_) and I succeeded in writing two (short) stories in a span of three days *ahem* one of which is this one… If ever any of you thinks that I'm doing a poor job (writing), I'm really sorry for my mediocre performance and for disappointing anyone. It's been a long time, actually, and I'm _struggling_ to recover, to say the least. :)_

I love writing, and I shall continue writing til I croak *cringes at the though* You guys may already know this but you are all welcome to write me a mail, a complaint, whatever it is you wish to point out and to ask! *smiles* I actually accept flames ("to each his own" after all) and criticism (I just hope they'll be constructive or whatever ^_^)

About my works…

So far, **Shades of Gray** is the hardest one to pull off (since I cannot find the words and "ambiance" that I need in order to continue) **Black Soul, Dark World** and **The Night a Star Fell** are *virtually* finished (I already know what would happen, I've already planned everything out, BUT I haven't truly written the chapters… *winces*) I'll get to it, don't worry…

I'll go for now. :)

Thank you very much for reading this! ^_^

Sept. 13, 2003 – Sept 14, 2003


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